The Wonderful World of Minotaur

So you’ve just been done dirty by someone. It could be a friend, a family member or a sexual or romantic partner. Here’s my steps on how to move on:

Step one: DO NOT lean on any unhealthy vices. These will do nothing but distract you from the actual process. Put down the liquor and put down the drugs. Don’t go back to cigarettes or vapes. Don’t spend all your nights in the club using the loud music to drown out your thoughts. Just don’t.

Step two: Sit with your emotions. This is probably the hardest thing to do when you’re hurt. Sit with your hurt and figure out the ‘why’. ‘Why did this hurt me so much?’ This is where journaling comes in handy. Or voice notes. Or video diaries. Whichever medium you find easiest to express your feelings, use it. Interrogate your thoughts and feelings. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to do but make sure you feel.

Step three: Lean on your support system. Whether that is one friend or ten. Your sister or your cousin. Whoever you are comfortable venting to, that is comfortable with you venting to them – do it. As much as you might feel like a bother sometimes, there are people that love you and are willing to help you get through this tough time. Don’t push them away – lean on them.

Step four: NO social media stalking! This new age of social media can make it super hard to move on. Sometimes you just want to check their pages to see if they’re just as miserable as you are. Newsflash! They’re not. And it will only make you miserable to rediscover that fact over and over again. So leave their pages alone. Block them if you have to.

Step five: Find HEALTHY distractions. HEAVY emphasis on HEALTHY! Whether that’s a new hobby, like pottery or knitting, or exercise, or cooking. Find something that nourishes your soul and takes up your time. If it’s something that you can build a community around, even better! But use your free time to do healthy things instead of spending your every waking moment thinking about that person.

Step six: Be strong. You’re probably wondering what this means – it does sound pretty vague. It means that whenever you get the urge to reach out to that person you know is no good for you, to seek validation in any way – Don’t. This one takes a lot of work and a lot of practice but after a while, you won’t get those urges anymore.

Step seven: You’re there. You’ve finally moved on. You’re moving forward with your life. Some steps might take longer than others. You might make progress and then go backwards and then forwards again. But one day you’ll wake up and realise that situation doesn’t even bother you anymore and you’ll finally be free.